Know this.

Hello friends, if you realize, I haven't been posting sad stuff here for quite a long time.

I will not talk about those unhappy things or downturns in my life here.

Maybe just some bad days which piss me off relating to myself.

But no, I will not talk about my family, friendship or even my relationship problems here in my blog.

I rather keep it myself and never tell or maybe type it down in somewhere private.

I don't see any point writing all those stuff here in my blog.

I don't want whenever I open up my blog, it reminds me of the sad things that happened yesterday, last week, last month, etc.

Anyway, that doesn't mean I don't have those problems myself.

I'm a human too.

With feelings.

I laugh hard when I'm happy.
I cry hard when I'm sad.

You can call me happy-go-lucky or a dumbass if you like.

I just don't need people's sympathy and treat me in a different way.

Or being a topic to be discussed around.

I can easily forget about unhappy stuff if you don't bring up any.

How I get through it?

I think of happy stuff when I'm sad.

When people are treating me like a piece of shit or crap, I think about the good times we had and the caring ways they treated me.

I always tell myself : I will be fine when I get through this, because I know after this, we can still have a lot of happy times. Irregardless of how often sad things will happen in the future.

=)

Since back from Malacca, non-stop going out.

HAHAHAHA.
Last week,

Papazi.. Papazi.. Papazi..

Summit.. Summit.. Summit..

Non-stop going to Summit =.=

This week,

I finally met up with Ah Ma.

HAHAHA~

I will post about those outings later on.

XD



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Mogu oh Mogu,

I don't mind even if it was only 2 hours or maybe less than that.

Or maybe we hardly speak during this 2 hours.

As long as I can feel your breathing next to me, it's more than enough.

♥

 

New beginning.

I've been neglecting my blog.

I don't know why.

My feelings are like so complicated these few days.

Ya, I'm no longer single anymore.
You might think that things move so quickly.
And some people are shocked with my decision.
How he treats me, only I know it the best.
What I can see NOW, he is a really good guy =)
Time can tell.
Don't worry, and I know what I'm doing.
I'm reminding myself everyday about that.
I'm 20 now.
I hope I will have the chance to prove it. =)

All the best to me for a new start ~

2009.

2009.
Flash back...

Had so many cake smashes this year.
I had the worst fell ever. The scar will forever be there =.=
I had my first accident.
I was sick so many times.
2009 has the most photos in the folder.
I finally finished my STPM.
We had so much conflicts.

.....

I hope 2010 will be a great one =)

Happy New Year everyone~!

I can't hold on much longer

This week, my life is completely really fuck up.
My mood is seriously affected.
I just don't know why.
It's like everything I do is wrong.
So many thoughts in my mind.
I'm scared to hurt people's feelings.
But who ever care about mine?
So many things I did.
But who really appreciate it?
Why should I do so much then?
Naive? NO! I'm stupid!!!!
I'm truly disappointed and sad.
This is not the repay I should get!!!!!
I want both side to be happy!!!
But why am I feeling this way????
I'm tired of these.
I'm really tired.
I cannot take this much longer.
So what if I post this?
I will change?
I don't think so.
I will still repeat what I am doing.
And yet, complaining about it again.

Relief.

HELLO PEOPLE!

Well, I'm not having any test paper until Monday.

Seriously, felt kinda relief after finishing 3 papers.

And I did really badly.

Total loss of confidence after the first paper.

ARGGGHHHH.

STPM is just so tough!!

So, if you don't intend to stick your butt in the chair to study for at least few hours a day.

STPM won't be a good choice for you.

Yes, as you can see, everytime you visit my blog, it's about outings, fun, bla bla bla....

So I have to admit, I played too much during this 1 and a half year.

But seriously, I'm really enjoying life. (My weight gain is the best proof.)

I've so much to blog about.

The party.

The outings.

My Penang trip.

etc. etc. etc.......

It will be done after my exam XD

Thanks everyone who wishes me good luck.

I seriously need that luck very much since I don't have the ability to study like a nerd for 10 hours a day.

=DDDD

Pengajian Am 1

Chemistry 2

Mathematics 1

Physics 2

Mathematics 2

Physics 1

Pengajian Am 1
Chemistry 1

5 more papers, 14 days more to go =)

STUPID !@#$%^&*

WHAT THE HELL STPM!!

How I wish the next thing I know when I wake up, STPM IS OVER!!!!!!

I'm really frustrated with this kinda study ambience.

I HATE IT SO MUCH I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF ANYTIME!!!!!

My maths sucks

My chemistry sucks

My physics sucks x1000.

My PA.... seriously, my only hope.

WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL.

WHO CREATED STPM TO BE SO FREAKING TOUGH?!!!!!!!!!!!
KILL KILL KILL THAT PERSON!!!!

OH MY OH MY!

ARRRGGGHHHH.

Flu again??????

My god.......

One month at least once.

What's wrong with my immune system!!!

OH MYYYY.

Stuff to gossip about~

Wait for me tomorrowwwww =DDD

跟着感觉走~

就没错了~

滚滚滚~

Maybe I gave too much and I hoped for the repay too much. Being too naive to think that if I treat people well, I will get the same treatment back. Words meant a lot to me. I don't need actions from anyone to prove. Appreciate every moment I went through with different people I known. Time really changes everything. It cured me. It taught me how to stand up when I fall. It tells me when to let go and when to grab it. Because at the end of the day, the one seeing all these going round and round is just me myself. I will never wanna experience that feeling anymore. Over and over again. I'm impress with myself this time. I know what are the consequences. And I will never want that to happen.


I can't change the past. I hope you don't judge me with my past too. I've changed.

Kill me now.

OK fine.
I know, I shouldn't be blogging now.
But, I'm really dying inside me.
I FEEL HORRIBLE!!!!
I don't know what's wrong with me.
What's with the blue mood.
What's with all those craps in my head.
I'm just so freaking sad =(((((
Sigh.
Last night, I kept my laptop away already.
Determined this time.
I'm using bro's now.
I hate this feeling.
Everytime when it is near to exam.
I'm having emotional problems.
WTF.
Kill me kill me.
Don't ask me anything.
ZZZZZZZZZ.

Sorry, not the hardest word.

Sometimes, I don't know whether am I hurting people around me indirectly?
Well, I need some confessions.
Not people I hurt keeping quiet and do nothing about it.
I hurt you, and you don't deserve to take everything on yourself.
Of course, I don't mean that you would scold me straight at my face.
And not with those harsh words like I HATE YOU KELLY KOE!!!
Or with sarcastic sentences.
Maybe like : "Hey, I was kinda..... by what you said/did just now..."
For the close ones, you know who you are, please do so.
I don't mind, seriously.
I have to admit that,
sometimes I get so angry over some things, but the next moment, I forget about it.
Harsh words come out at that angry moment.
But not long.
To you hypocrite or not, doesn't matter to me at all.
That is my way of doing things.
And I really need to thank someone.
Who is always letting me know that what I was wrong at.
That I did hurt her feelings.
We promised to be straight forward to each other.
( You know who you are=) )
And that's the way it should be.
But seriously, not everyone can take it that way.
I'm sincerely sorry to those I hurt =(
Will you all forgive me?

SIGH

I'm a total asshole.
Bad management.
Real bad.
I suck !!!!!!
DAMNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is really not my day.

Worst nightmare.

OK.

Before I start the main point of this post,
I would like to say that,
I didn't want anyone to know about this at the very first.
Because I don't wanna make such a big deal about this matter.
Since everything is fine now, I think it is OK to let everyone know what actually happened.
An experience to share with all of you.

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*

Last week I went to one of the JB specialist center for check up.
Stomach check up.
Due to some reasons.
After some simple check ups from the doctor,
he recommended my dad to let me do endoscopy and colonoscopy to specify what's wrong.
Today, I went back there for the scopes.
The worst thing that ever happen in my life.


Yesterday, which is the day before the scopes,
I wasn't allow to eat any solid food.
No vegetables. No fruits.
And I was required to drink something called PicoPrep yesterday and today.
People, never ever try this unless you are force to.
It tasted really awful!



I almost puke when I finished the whole glass of it.
This soap-taste-like thingy is to cleanse all the dirty stuff in my intestine.
After drinking this, I drank 6 glasses of water within 3 hours, as required.
And guess what.
From yesterday till now,
I went to the toilet for at least 10 times!!!!!!
Not urination.
Fuhh, indeed cleansing everything.
I was so hungry!!!
Imagine that everything was coming out but nothing is going in.
DUHH!


Finally the time has arrived.
The nurse doing this and that for me.
And I hate the needle poking part.
GrrGG!!!!
My hand felt so numb after that!!!!






Anyway, this wasn't the worst part yet.
The worst part was when I went into the operation room.
And you were laying on the bed, people pushing you into it.
That feeling.... ARGHHH!!
Before everything started, the doctor asked me "do you wanna put to sleep?"
I hesitated.
At last, I chose not to.
And I was kinda regret with that decision.
4 injections before the test started.


First to do was the endoscopy.
When the fibre optics were put through my throat into my stomach,
the feeling was really bad.
Really very very bad.
It was so painful.
Really painful.
No kidding at all.
This procedure lasted for a while only.
But the pain was really unbearable.

Second was the colonoscopy.
This procedure took more than 30 minutes I think.
It was really painful too.
Especially when it reached the corner of the intestine.
ARGHH!!!
The doctor keep saying "bear with it bear with it, it wil be over very soon".
I gripped the side of the bed so hardly as if I was going to break it.
At last I can't take it anymore.....



I bit my own hand to ease the pain.
DUH.
Not helping at all.
The pain in the stomach was worst than this 100 times.
Totally no feelings at all.


After an hour, everything was done.
Finally!!!
FUHHHH!!!
Doctor said everything was fine.
Just having inflammation.
But further results will be out next week.
NO WORRIES!!
90% will be fine =D
And I get to see inside my stomach and intestines.
URGGHH!
They recorded the process of the scopes and gave me a copy of it.
=.=


Seriously,
I never ever wanna do this again anymore.
One time is enough for everything.
This was a really painful experience.
Still feeling awful after the scopes.
I was craving for food yesterday.
But today totally no appetite at all.
The pain was really........
And it hasn't go away yet till now.
SIGH.



I'm fine I'm fine.
No worries!
=DD
Give me some time to recover =D

*

Thanks Evonne for everything!!!
Really thankssss!!
Muakkk~~~

I don't need a title

One day,
you realize a person,
who you used to care for so much,
think that he/she is just so important,
just happen to turn out into a piece of CRAP!

THIS IS REALLY CRAP!!
CRAP I TELL YOU!!!

But there's nothing much you can do.
You can only be a hypocrite and continue HAHAHA with him/her.
But he/her will no longer stands an important position in your heart anymore.

Don't take things for granted.
DON'T EVER TAKE FEELINGS FOR GRANTED!

*

YEAHHH~~~
Tomorrow is the last day of my trial!!!!!!!
Plans plans plans and plans!
Wait for us!!
XD

Trial fever.

Pengajian Am 1
Pengajian Am 2
Chemistry 1
Chemistry 2
Physics 1
Physics 2
Mathematics 1
Mathematics 2

TRIAL IS SO FREAKING TOUGH!!!!!!!!

If you really intend to take STPM,
must cut down online,
outings,
tvs,
and more....
I don't. That's why I think it's tough.

MORE UPDATES AFTER THE TRIAL.
=D

*

I used to ignore your advise.
And there I made mistakes.
Which I regretted very very much.
Now, I won't ignore it anymore.
I will take it and digest it.
Thanks a lot =))))

You and Him

Fall and you climb up again.
Cry and you wipe your tears off.
Looking back and thinking how foolish it was.
Thought you let it go but deep in your heart, he is still there.
You miss him so much still.
It was not a great one.
You didn't tell him how much you actually needed him.
You didn't tell him how much he actually meant to you.
He is just like a stranger to you now.
You are just another ordinary passer-by in his life.
You wish you could go back to the past to do everything that you've regretted.
But you can't.

=)

My 19th

4/9/2009

The most memorable day.
Wishes, presents and surprises.
I had a great one again this year.
Thanks to my dearest friends around me.
Love you guys lots!!!!!!

Will update more about what happened today soon.
=)))
You won't wanna miss this one.........

Lastly,
Happy Birthday to myself~!!!!!
XDDDD

BAD DAY!

Arghh.
My life almost ended today.
OK, maybe not that serious.
This morning, I was shocked till near-dead by an Auntie driving a BIG MPV.
Stupid junction.
She put signal and I thought she wanna turn.
So I didn't take a second look at her car.
Damn it.
The next thing I know, my car and her car were only 0.01cm away.
I trust my eyes and I'm 100% sure that she signaled to turn.
But don't know why she went straight instead.
If she bangs me I think I will be sandwiched.
Elephant VS Mouse.
Thank god, I'm alive.
Next time please don't simply signal.
And next time, please double check and take a second look.

Walking normally, I can also twist my ankle and nearly fell down.
The next thing I know, Ah Hui was laughing so loudly.
ARRRGHHH!!!!
Ah Hui, ni zhe ge mei liang xin de jia huo!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Please please please!!!!
Give me a better day tomorrow.....
I don't wanna meet that auntie at that junction again.
=S

Opps...
Forgot to mention that I slept at 10pm last night!!!
The earliest night since.........
2 months ago?
My liver is at stake =S

R A N D O M

I was once people’s substituent and I hate that very much.

I swore to myself that if this ever happen to me again I will never forgive that person.

Even if they are my closest friends.

*

Oppssss.

I'm not angry or what

=D

HAHAHAHAHA.

And I'm not referring to anyone.

You feel offensive over this?

Consider myself lucky?

4th of September.
4th of September.
4th of September.

DAMN IT.
I'm not looking forward to that day at all.

WHY??????????????????????????
It should be one of my happiest day throughout the year.
Now, not anymore.

Because first day of trial falls on that day.
What can be better than that?
ARGGHHH.